MARLEY
Dear Marley – Should I Smoke Weed With My Son?
He’s 19 and I’m desperately looking for ways to bond with him. Should I smoke weed with my son?
Should I Smoke Weed With My Son?
He’s 19 and I’m desperately looking for ways to bond with him. Over the last few years, it’s become increasingly difficult to connect with him. I know that he smokes weed with his buddies and they always talk about how outgoing he is with them when he’s high. Him and I however, never talk about it.
Him and I both smoke weed, but we never acknowledge it to each other. I allow it because I know it helps him with back pain he suffers from his time playing football, and well, because he’s over 18. Should I smoke weed with my son? Or is that an awful parenting decision? I know it’s not written to get high with your kid in most parenting books, but I need to connect to him in some way. Is weed the answer?
He’s been pretty closed off for most of his teenage years and while I know the reasons for it, it doesn’t make it any easier. I’ve asked some of my friends if I should smoke weed with my son, and the responses have been mixed. Some say I’m delusional, irresponsible and crazy, while others think it would be beneficial on many fronts and a good time. They seem to be split, which makes you the deciding vote. No pressure or anything!
So I ask, should I smoke weed with my son? I’m all ears, but please make your case reasonable!
How Do I Approach Him?
Assuming you feel I should smoke weed with my son, how do you suggest I go about it? I can just see myself right now, Awkward Mom to the rescue! Joint in one hand, lighter in the other.
“Wanna get high with mom?”
– Awkward Mom
Dear Awkward Mom,
You might be awkward, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t awesome too.
Part I
“Should I smoke weed with my son?”
Yes. It seems like you’ve tried everything with him and nothing has gotten through to him. Without knowing too much detail regarding why he’s been so closed off for a number of years is important, but I think I have a pretty good idea.
Now that I’ve said yes, you know where the voting stands. You will be getting high with your son. But before you run to your little stash box/make-up bag full of green goodies, let me tell you how you’re going to do it. Please have an open mind, because you’re definitely going to need it for what I’m about to suggest. Don’t worry, I’m not about to recommend getting high with your son on a regular basis. This is a one-time event that is designed to connect, understand and love.
Part II
Here’s how you’re Going to Get High with your Son
Step 1 – Don’t roll a joint.
Step 2 – Ask him to roll one for you. Tell him you want to see how it’s done properly. This immediately opens up the weed lines of communication. If he didn’t know you smoked before, he does now.
Step 3 – While he’s rolling it up, ask questions about how he makes the perfect filter or how much weed he packs into a single joint. Show genuine interest.
Step 4 – Ask him if he wants to smoke it with you. If/when he says yes, tell him you’d like to share with his friends. He’s going to give you a look. I can’t describe this look in any way other than confused and mildly disgusted with a tablespoon of curiosity. This is when you’ll ask yourself once more, “Should I smoke weed with my son?!” Yes.
Step 5 – Get high with your son and his friends while they watch Half Baked or play Xbox.
Step 6 – ACT COOL. And by act cool I mean be cool. If you’re not typically cool, be cool this time. Stick around for 15-20 minutes after the joint is done.
Step 7 – Order them pizza.
Step 8 – You’re going to be very high and overwhelmed with emotion. Call the pizza restaurant and make sure you ordered enough pizza.
Step 9 – Go to your room. Watch whatever episode of the Handmaid’s Tale you’re on.
Step 10 – The next morning, when you see your son at breakfast, don’t mention a thing.
This may seem ridiculous to you. It may or may not be ridiculous. But it’s certainly your best shot to accomplish what you want.
Most “parenting experts” would probably tell you to stay away from smoking weed with your son. That’s because they’ve never smoked weed with their kid before. The next time you ask yourself “should I smoke weed with my son” remember that if they’re over 18 and you both smoke weed, the answer is always yes.