Old Fashioned Stoner Ingenuity: DIY Getting High

Everybody’s workin’ for the weekend, and the weekend is almost here! Picture a quiet Sunday afternoon. Nothing to do but kick back, listen to some tunes, and fire up the ol’ bong.

This is harmony.

This is bliss.

Let the ritual begin.

As the bowl is lit, the beats start pounding through the speakers. One big inhale…hold…release. Air drumming and humming away, it’s time to lean back and put those feet up.

We proudly present this moment of zen. Brought to you in part by “a stacked work week,” with special consideration by “a job well done.”

As feet meet table, a minor miscalculation in clearance clears the way for calamity.

SMASH! 

The table tips and the bong shatters into too many damn pieces to count!

This is heartbreak.

This is bullshit!

Breathe…assess…breathe…sweep up the remains of a tried-and-true friend…breathe…think!

ROLLING PAPERS!!!!

DAMMIT! None! REALLY!? None?! 

Fine.

This is no time to panic! This is the time to get creative. This is the time to put that brain to work and craft some classic DIY (Do-It-Yourself) ways to get high!

But where to begin??

Sorry, delicious bowl of fruit…one of these crisp apples needs to be sacrificed. The time for martyrdom is NOW! Let’s start with…

The Apple Pipe

It’s The Pipe With A-Peel. Not Funny. Sorry. Not Funny.

An apple pipe is ridiculously easy to make and fun to smoke with. All it takes is:

• An apple…obviously.
• A pen
• Aluminum foil
• A can-do attitude

With just three, easy to find items – and one state of mind – you’re about to become the mayor of Apple Pipe City. Population: You. Just you. The mayor.

Okay, mayor, it’s time to build this apple pipe. 

1. If there’s a stem, get it out of there and use the pen to make a wee tunnel from the stem crater to the centre of the apple. Widen this passage if you feel so inclined.
2. Cram that pen into the side of the apple to form a new tunnel which connects to the passageway created in step one. If it doesn’t connect, it’s incorrect!
3. Place some aluminum foil over the top tunnel from step one to create a bowl. Your weed can’t wait to live there. 
4. Gently poke a few holes in the aluminum foil so air can flow freely through the apple pipe.
5. (Optional) Make a third tunnel which connects to the other two to work as a carb. You don’t need to do this, but if you’re feeling stab-happy…go for it. You’ve come this far.
6. Pop your weed on the aluminum foil, light it up, and inhale gently through a side tunnel.

Mission accomplished, honourable mayor. Your re-election is imminent!

No apples? No problem! Another great DIY way to smoke weed is to fashion…

A Plastic Bottle Pipe

A plastic bottle pipe is as similar to a standard pipe as you can get. Simple to make, simple to smoke, and just delightful! Get yourself:

• A small/medium sized plastic bottle.
• Scissors or a knife
• Aluminum foil

Ready to rock? Sure you are! All you need to do is:

1. Cut a hole in the side of the bottle…near the bottom.
2. Place some aluminum foil in the hole you just made to form your bowl/weed holder.
3. Poke a few tiny holes in the aluminum foil
4. Put some weed in that bowl, man!
5. Place the mouth hole of the bottle to…well…to your…mouth. Put it to your mouth.
6. Spark that bowl and draw the smoke in!

Voila! It’s that simple! Now here’s the thing…you could also craft the bowl around the mouthpiece of the bottle and draw the smoke in through the side hole while keeping the bottle upright. The choice is yours! Experiment…have fun! You do you.

It’s worth mentioning that you could fashion something similar with a pop can by making a little dent in the side of said can, poking some holes in that there dent, and drawing smoke in through the drinking hole…but, you know…some people have raised concerns related to the safety of smoking can aluminium vs. aluminum foil. We aren’t scientists…we’re just trying to find you a replacement for your trashed bong! So…pop can pipe…no pop can pipe…plastic bottle pipe. Pipe it up.

Annnnnnyway…Feel like getting a little more creative with a DIY weed smoking contraption? We do! Why not try your hand at making…

A Gravity Bong (Part One: The Bucket Gravity Bong)

There’s a Hole in My Bucket!

Gravity bongs (or “water bongs” to some) use..get this…GRAVITY…and, uh, water…to function. The bucket gravity bong works great with A BUCKET (crazy!) but with Halloween around the corner, feel free to get festive and hollow out a pumpkin. You can also get creative and use clean paint cans, empty 4L milk/water jugs. You really just need:

• A larger receptacle to hold water
• A smaller container (think 2L sodie-pop bottle) to hold smoke
• Scissors or a knife
• Aluminum foil

Here’s how to craft one of these little devils:

1. Fill the larger receptacle with water.
2. Cut the bottom off of the smaller container..
3. Put aluminum foil over the drinkin’ hole of the smaller container and shape it into a bowl.
4. Poke holes in the aluminum foil…or else what are we really doing here?.
5. Place the smaller container (bottom down!) into the larger one. Keep that mouthpiece above water!
6. Get some weed on that aluminum foil bowl and light ‘er up!
7. While lighting the herb, slowly pull the smaller container almost entirely out of the water and marvel as it fills with smoke.
8. Remove the foil-bowl and wrap your kisser around the mouth hole of the smaller container whilst pushing it back into the water and inhaling.

BOOM! Let that feeling settle in. You good? Yeah, you are. Nice.

Still feeling the creative juices flowing? Time to get back to it and make…

Another Gravity Bong (Part Two: The Waterfall Bong

Ah, the waterfall bong…This classic DIY method for smoking weed is even more simple to craft than the bucket gravity bong. Fewer moving parts and such. Get your hands on:

• A 2L pop bottle
• Aluminum foil
• Scissors or a knife

Simple enough! See? Told you so. No, here’s what you’re gonna do:

1. Make a hole in the bottom of the bottle with scissors or a knife…or, hell, burn a wee hole with your lighter!
2. Plug that there hole with your finger and fill the bottle with water
3. Make the trusty aluminum foil bowl and pack with with weed
4. Fire it up!
5. Remove your finger from the bottom hole (while standing over a sink/bath tub/bucket/anything that isn’t your nice clean floor!)
6. Let the bottle fill with smoke as the draining water does the pulling for you.
7. Cover the bottom hole once the water has drained (to prevent smoke from escaping.)
8. Get that foil bowl up off the top, and get your mouth on there.
9. Unplug the bottom hole and inhaaaaaale!

When you’re done coughing, take pride in your stoner ingenuity. You know what you did. 

The love affair between bottles and DIY ways to smoke weed is not over yet, friend. Guess what? You can also make…

A Plastic Lung

The plastic lung is another fairly simple one to get in to. The functionality of the contraption is similar to that of a gravity bong, but you don’t need water. So, if your day has been extra unfortunate and you not only smashed your lucky bong, but your water was also shut off, then do we have good news for you, intrepid weed smoker!

Get this stuff:

• A plastic bottle (1L, 2L…4L…WHOA!!!!!!!)
• Scissors or a knife
• Aluminum foil
• Tape
• A plastic bag (Size to be determined by the size of the bottle used)

Got your gear? This won’t take long. Let’s continue:

1. Get that bottle chopped! Cut off the bottom…cut it in half…just cut it.
2. Tape the plastic bag around the bottom of the bottle. Make sure it’s sealed nice and tight. Don’t get lazy on us now!
3. Make a bowl out of the aluminum foil and get it on the top of the bottle.
4. You know this part…poke some holes in that foil!
5. Stuff the bag up into the bottle from the bottom. Can you guess where this is going?
6. Get that reefer in your freshly made bowl.
7. Set fire to that beautiful flower and immediately, but gently, start pulling the bag out of the bottle.
8. Once the bag and bottle are full, remove the bowl and get to suckin’ that smoke!

Oh, bottles…is there anything you can’t do? Wha…what’s that, bottle? You have another trick up your sleeve? Fair enough! Looks like it’s time for… 

Bottle Tokes / Bottle Toker /BTs/Bots

Just Call Me Warren BT

BTs are really more of a hash-appropriate method. If you don’t have any hash close at hand, you can try doing this with some greens…but, come on…don’t. Use some fine hashish, or skip to any of the other DIY weed smoking methods that populate this list.  There are plenty! 

Here’s what it’s gonna take:

• HASH!!!!
• A cigarette. (You can use a joint if you’ve got one, and don’t smoke cigarettes…but if you had a joint to begin with…then…never mind.)
• A plastic bottle. To Be Continued…
• Scissors or a knife 

This is going to be fun, so get ready…Herrrrre we go:

1. Cut a little hole (slightly larger than needed for a cigarette to fit through) more towards the bottom of the bottle. You can do this!
2. Get a decent sized chunk of hash ready. Don’t get crazy, but have fun.
3. Light…that…cigarette! Get a nice burn going with a solid cherry.
4. Knock the ash off of that puppy.
5. Place your hash on the (lit!) end of the cigarette. If you can get it under the paper a little bit, that will help…but ultimately the hash will stick to the burning cigarette.
6. Cover the top of the bottle and slide the hashy cigarette through the hole in the side of the bottle. Be careful! Don’t knock that beautiful hash off!
7. Let the hash burn alllll the way. Let that bottle fill!
8. Remove the hashy cigarette and cover the hole so nothing escapes!
9. Put the top of the bottle to your lips, uncover the side hole and breathe deep!

We have lift-off! WOW! Thank…you..bottles! 

You can also get to bottle tokin’ with a glass bottle, but it means scraping the side of the bottle, popping a coin or pebble in there, shaking it up to crack a little hole in the side and getting down to it. It’s a “cleaner” way to do this, but it’s much easier to break glass than it is to break plastic…so, pick your battles (and bottles…sorry.)

You know how it is!

This list of DIY ways to smoke weed is by no means complete. We’ll continue to update it and really get a fine resource going!

What’s your favourite DIY weed smoking method? Leave us a message in the comments section. We’d love to hear it!

Good work today!