MARLEY
Dear Marley – Can Weed Kill You?
Hey so… straight up; Can weed kill you?
Can Weed Kill You?
I usually roll up a little joint to smoke while walking my dog late at night. I’m pretty sure my parents know but like, I’m not a kid anymore so what are they really going to say? Pass it over here? I’m 20 and have been smoking for a few years and I might not be an expert, but I know enough to get by. Something I never thought to consider was “Can weed kill you?” That was until the other night.
While on one of my late night walks with the pooch, my neighbor down the street howled at me in what sounded like gibberish. What IS gibberish anyway? I guess I’ll Google it later. So my neighbor, who’s usually pretty quiet, comes at me off his porch waving his finger in my face like that old NBA player, what’s his name. Dikembe Mutombo! He’s standing there, giving me the Mutombo finger wag and walked right up to my face, his nose no more than like, 6 inches away from mine and says, “THAT WILL KILL YOU, YOUNG MAN. WEED WILL KILL YOU!”
Negative Effects
I think he was drunk, which is funny considering the alcohol will probably kill him before the weed puts me 6 feet under. But it got me thinking, can weed kill you? Logically speaking, I know it’s unlikely because it just doesn’t make any sense. I know that weed can carry some negative effects and stuff, but can weed kill you?!
My mother always taught me to take things from who they come, and this news came from my drunk neighbor. But his Dikembe-style finger wag and the seriousness in his voice are making me a little bit nervous. Maybe i’m just high and paranoid.
I don’t know who else to ask, so I turn to you. Can weed kill you?
– RIP Weed Boy
Dear RIP-WB,
Without the context of your neighbor, I’d think you’re trolling me with the question of Can Weed Kill You. Even with context I’m about 15% sure you are.
Can weed kill you? I don’t know, can cilantro kill you? Your neighbor should be thrown into an unmarked white van and brought somewhere with rooms where the walls are padded. Smoking, vaping or having edibles cannot kill you. Unless you smoke the equivalent of 240 consecutive spliffs. If you’re capable of smoking that many joints, you’re going to have some story to tell once you get to the pearly white gates. Most of us would be asleep in and around the first dozen but nope, not you. You smoked 240 times in a row and now you’re dead.
This isn’t to say that smoking weed cannot lead to death. All I’m saying is that smoking weed can’t kill you unless you’re smoking some O.J.. O.J. is a strain of marijuana first planted and grown all the way back in the late 40’s and gained prominence for its juicy-like aftertaste in the 70’s, right up until its fall from grace following the grisly murders of his wife and her boyfriend. The strain went underground after that but was still available in some cities. It soon fell off the map immediately following a minor incident in the desert. As of last year, you can find some O.J. at select monuments and landmarks along the Vegas Strip. Marley smoked the good stuff tonight.
Like anything we consume, smoking weed comes with its own set of potential health risks. Can weed kill you? Again, can you even smoke 240 times if you TRIED? I suspect not. But smoking weed CAN lead to death. Maybe. Here are a few things to look out for:
Lungs
Some say that smoking a joint is exponentially worse than smoking cigarettes. Others say those people might be crazy.
Concentration
Don’t smoke and drive. This is how weed can lead to death. Can weed kill you? No, but your high brain behind the wheel can. just don’t do it.
Heart
High heart rate and a potential rise in your blood pressure. Nothing concrete in terms of whether or not weed can kill you by way of heart attack.
Brain
While this won’t kill you, smoking weed at too young of an age may disrupt the brain’s development.
Mood
Weed has been shown to be linked to depression and other mental illness conditions. It has been shown that too much weed may lead to paranoia which could degenerate into schizophrenia.
Oh, and tell your neighbor to take a load off and smoke a joint.
Sincerely, Marley
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